Being nice doesn’t matter
Building Emotional intelligence is not about learning to be nice, it is about playing your top inner game. Supporting children to develop self awareness, regulation, empathy, and social skills is an essential part of this puzzle, but there is more to it that nobody is talking about. Secret whispered out loud may be the solution?
Click here to view Zelna Lauwrens, our founder, speaking on why Being Nice Doesn’t matter
Acts of Compassion Challenge Poster
Use this fun poster to complete small acts of compassion each day. Before you know it, you will be doing them without thinking.
WHEEL & TRACKER
Build emotional intelligence & emotional vocabulary with our easy to use printables. Create a daily emotion tracker from our sample provided to gain insight into your moods and triggers. Make a game of understanding emotions, learn from it. Make it fun!!
How do you know if you are compassionate?
✓ You feel connected to people, even if you are different
✓ Understanding what people are going through & feeling their pain
✓ Being mindful of other’s experiences, thoughts & emotions
✓ Taking action and helping someone when you notice them struggling
✓ High EQ (emotional intelligence) and being able to understand, manage and act on emotions of others & yourself
✓ Feeling grateful when others are compassionate towards you
Types of Compassion:
✓ Compassion for others: feeling compelled to take action to make a situation better for others
✓ Self- Compassion: treating yourself with love and kindness
Compassion Ripple Effect:
✓ Giving feels good & is rewarding.
✓ Compassionate people live longer
✓ Compassion contributes to life purpose & meaning
✓ People who volunteer experience reduced depression, improved immunity, and less inflammation
✓ Compassion improves relationships
How to cultivate compassion?
✓ Awareness & Attention: practice putting yourself in someone else’s shoes
✓ Let go of judgement: accept yourself and others for who they are
✓ Practice Mindfulness: focus on the present & become aware of your thoughts without judgement
✓ Practice Loving-Kindness Meditation: this improves your connection with yourself and others
Acts of Compassion:
✓ Speak with kindness
✓ Apologize when you’ve made a mistake
✓ Be authentic & genuine with your apology
✓ Listen carefully and without judgment
✓ Take time to really ask someone how they are doing and listen
✓ Encourage other people
✓ Offer to help someone with a task
✓ Be happy for someone else’s success
✓ Accept people for who they are
✓ Forgive people for making mistakes
✓ Show respect
✓ Express gratitude and appreciation
✓ Call and thank someone for something they have done
✓ Write them a note of appreciation
✓ Make a card showing your gratitude
✓ Be patient with yourself and others
✓ Write a letter or note to someone who could use a little extra TLC.
✓ Offer to help a neighbor with a task
✓ Tell someone you love “I love you”
✓ Hold the door open for someone
✓ Spend quality time with your pet
✓ Bring flowers to someone to brighten their day
✓ Compliment someone for a job well done
✓ Draw a picture for someone you love
Social Skills Activities
Encourage your child to try something different. Here is a list of activities, try to do a new one each week.
Mindfulness and relaxation techniques are a great way to ground a child and offer an opportunity to connect to their inner self. Teaching children techniques to manage stress, improve focus, and enhance overall well-being allows them to make better choices for themselves and show up as their own best version.
Stress Less Poster
Use this fun poster to complete small challenges each day. Stress less and stay positive.
You can also use the ideas and resources provided by the Harvard Medical School for ongoing support. Their report says that:
“Yoga and mindfulness have been shown to improve both physical and mental health in school-age children (ages 6 to 12). Yoga improves balance, strength, endurance, and aerobic capacity in children. Yoga and mindfulness offer psychological benefits for children as well. A growing body of research has already shown that yoga can improve focus, memory, self-esteem, academic performance, and classroom behavior, and can even reduce anxiety and stress in children.”
The Trampoline Effect
Building resilience and grit is sometimes over emphasised in a world that seems to be flooded with toxic influences. Equipping children with the skills to bounce back from setbacks, persevere through challenges, and develop a growth mindset is only part of the solution.
New Year Choice Challenge Poster
Use this New Year Choice Challenge poster to participate in 31 simple daily challenges during the month of January to uplift your and somebody else’s life. Developing a heathy and positive mindset is a daily commitment, achieved one step at a time.
Resilience Fortune Teller
Use our ready to play Resilience Fortune Teller or create a bespoke fortune teller with your child, relating specifically to what they have overcome and achieved, or you can create and provide a ready made version that allows your child to acknowledge their growth.
The aim is to facilitate discussion with this useful tool that promotes resilience as a positive by-product of struggle. You can ask your child what they think resilience is and their answers may be one of the below that you can then use to further discuss the concept:
Resilience can be described as:
- Bouncing back after difficult times
- Dealing with challenges and still holding your head up
- Giving things a go or trying your best
- Being strong on the inside
- Being able to cope with what life throws at you and shrug it off
- Standing up for yourself
- Getting back into shape after you have been bent or stretched
You can also discuss some things that help to develop resilience such as:
- Having a positive attitude
- Finding good friends
- Feeling good about yourself
- Feeling like you belong
- Having a supportive family
- Helping others or ‘giving back’
- Being able to solve problems and overcome challenges
- Good communication with the people around you
The questions below are particularly good ‘conversation starters’ to get your child self aware of their own resilient attitude:
- What are your needs right now?
- What goals have you already achieved?
- What are your limits?
- What is really important to you?
- What annoys you?
- What makes you happy?
- What are your strengths that have helped you overcome challenges?
- How did you cope in the past?
- How do you usually deal with stress?
- Is there anything you would like to change?